If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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