I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
