NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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