He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Of course I have a pirate flag
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
