he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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