Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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