Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
