Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
