you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
