Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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