sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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