my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
