I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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