I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
