I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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