I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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