is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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