I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
