Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have tasted many bathrooms
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
