The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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