I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
