youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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