Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
