just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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