before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
