I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
