are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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