We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
