he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
