The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
