Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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