you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
