bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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