dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
