Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
