Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
