I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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