Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
