38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
