What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
