Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
