If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
please don't ironically join a cult
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