She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
