final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
