just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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