He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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