wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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