what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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