You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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