I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
