And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
